The Age of ’45’ is a traumatic assault on all of us who have lived, breathed, worked and bled for social justice. By that I mean, the desire for all of humanity to be recognized and valued, to occupy the center. The desire for systems of domination to be dismantled and for the travesties they have inflicted to be owned and cared about, such that reparations and healing can occur. Yes, many of us have become even more determined in our anti-oppression efforts, some have become active in a way like never before, but it is also true that move after move of ’45’ and all those who support him can create profound grief and rage that can disable us in moments and weigh heavily. We cannot underestimate this.
I do not pretend to have it all covered. Yet, I want to share some of the strategies I have found helpful and invite you to weigh in on those you have found helpful. The order below bears no relationship to importance. There is no hierarchy.
1. Limit my exposure to visual and auditory stimuli of ’45’ and his various posses. In recent days, I’ve cut all TV news to protect myself against new onslaughts.
2. Read the paper more for news. Allows me to titrate what I’m exposed to without the additional triggers of sight and voice.
3. Watch Trevor Noah. I’ve found this to be the place where I can hear what ’45’ has said. Trevor is a balm. His show is the only place that allows me to laugh about it. And we need to be able to laugh at times. Trevor also allows me to feel and remember I am so far from being alone in this agony. I know I’m not but he is a reinforcer. We need reinforcement!
4. Read Charles Blow’s columns in the NY Times. His voice is inspiring in its outrage, incisiveness, and determination!
5. Tend to my grief and rage with love, not denial or criticism. What’s happening is hurtful beyond words I can yet craft. It is loss after loss for so many who have had so many losses already, who have been and are so vulnerable. It is hard to hold that pain, and I don’t dwell on it. But I do witness it, give it some space when it comes forward. It seems I feel the hurt more than rage of late but I need to express both of them, to not simply let them sit in my body without some transformation. I journal, jab forcefully in kickboxing, cry, nurture me with an enjoyable or inspiring read or TV mystery series, or a song; I dance, ask for a hug, do corpse pose, child’s pose, and give my body more rest.
6. Dedicate my grief and rage to action. Sign petitions. Attend a rally for a family whose son was murdered and the police officer found not guilty. Give financial support to organizations doing anti-oppressive work. Be present more lovingly with those I care for, despite the stress of imperfections (mine and theirs) and the Assaultive air around us.
7. Call on my ancestors.
8. Call on Spirit.
See, as I read your blog I acknowledged similar emotions as relates to “45” and ALL of the daily occurrences. Your.coping suggestions have ALL been tried with the exception of kickboxing. That may be the perfect outlet for This rage I’m feeling. A PROFOUND SADNESS is also present. Trying to keep a moral and humane balance is always present in testing my spirituality, my connection to the REVEALER. It’s just when you realize the extent and dept of the lies and manipulation. The normalizing of such evil that has extended throughout the world. It is sometimes daunting to stay level, even, and continue to push down the red edges of the rage. What helps is the interaction with my children. Finding a way to say what needs to be said to them about this history without MY red edges showing or dulling their joy. Thank you for speaking to this issue.